How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Your Relationship

You aren't alone if you struggle with setting boundaries with the people in your life. Truthfully, most of us have problems in this area. Setting boundaries with coworkers, family, and friends is a necessary part of life that many of us realize. However, many struggle to understand the importance of setting boundaries with their significant other.

Having guidelines and boundaries in a relationship can help the relationship stay healthy, prevent conflict, and ensure the happiness of both partners. It lays a solid foundation for a respectful and strong connection. Let's talk about how to set boundaries effectively in a relationship.

How To Set Boundaries In A Relationship

1. Know Your Needs

First, you can't set boundaries in a relationship without understanding your needs, wants, and desires. Some ideas of boundaries and guidelines you can set with your partner are:

• How much time do you need to spend apart from each other?

• How much time do you need to spend together alone?

• What information do you want to share about yourself if you come up in a private conversation your partner is having with someone?

• What are the boundaries you have when it comes to setting budgets and spending limits if you are in a shared household?

• What boundaries do you have when it comes to being intimate with each other in the bedroom?

2. Communicate Them!

This is a huge one. We set boundaries with people in our lives, but there's a good chance that we won't actually talk to someone about this. In relationships, it's common to assume that your partner knows your thoughts or feelings about a particular situation.

While it would be nice to have that ability, unfortunately, humans have not developed that superpower. Knowing the boundaries you need to set is one thing, but it does you no good if you don't actually talk about them. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Ensure that they understand the boundaries you are setting aren't mean or cruel but help the relationship (and your happiness) flourish.

If you don't verbally express your boundaries, they might not even realize they are crossing them.

3. Express Your Feelings

If you are trying to set boundaries, you should also communicate why you are setting them. Use "I" statements to communicate how certain behaviors impact you emotionally. "It makes me feel sad when you don't prioritize spending more time alone together." Using statements such as this are less accusatory, which can prevent conflict in the relationship.

4. Listen To Their Boundaries and Respect Them

Respect is a two-way street in a relationship. When you express your boundaries to each other, ensure that you also respect and honor them. Communication, honesty, trust, and respect build a healthy foundation for all relationships.

Both people in a relationship should feel like they are being heard and understood by the other. When you express your boundaries to each other, actively listen to what the other is saying. Active listening involves:

• Letting them finish their sentences and viewpoints without interrupting them.

• Not being distracted by phones, TVs, or anything else that can prevent you from being fully tuned into one another.

• Nodding your head in agreement to express you are listening.

• Asking questions when clarification is needed and an appropriate time to interject.

5. Learn To Make Adjustments

When you set boundaries, there's a good chance that it will take some time to adjust to. Over time, circumstances and people will change, so you may have to realign as things are needed.

--

If you are struggling to set boundaries in your relationship, reach out to learn more about couples therapy. Together, we can help you determine the most crucial boundaries for your relationship and how you can help each other ensure they are honored.