The Fatigue of Extended Grief
Bereavement, mourning, and grief are interconnected yet distinct aspects of loss. Bereavement is the emotional response to a loss, while mourning represents the outward expression of grief, facilitating healing. Grief itself is a complex reaction to loss, not limited to the death of a loved one. It can arise from job loss, relationship endings, or significant life changes.
Grief extends beyond emotional distress, often manifesting physically. It's a typical response to losing something with which we've formed a strong emotional bond. Various life events can trigger this response, altering our circumstances and causing considerable pain.
What is Grief Fatigue?
Grief fatigue is the emotional and physical exhaustion that accompanies grieving. While grief itself is a natural response to loss, prolonged stress can take a significant toll on your body and mind. Grief fatigue can manifest in various physical symptoms. You may experience extreme tiredness, disrupted sleep patterns, and loss of appetite. These changes can further exacerbate your fatigue, creating a cycle of exhaustion.
The emotional pain of grief activates the same brain regions as physical pain, leading to tangible physiological effects. Your cardiovascular health may be temporarily compromised, with research indicating a 21-fold increase in heart attack risk within 24 hours of losing a loved one. Your immune system can weaken, potentially increasing your susceptibility to autoimmune disorders.
Stages of Grief
Grief is an emotional rollercoaster characterized by a tumultuous journey through various feelings as one learns to cope with loss. While everyone's grieving process is unique, there are common stages many experience:
Denial and Shock: A sense of numbness and disbelief initially sets in. This defense mechanism buys time for the mind to process the magnitude of change.
Anger and Frustration: As reality sinks in, anger may surface, directed at others or even inanimate objects. This intense emotion can lead to irrational behavior but eventually subsides.
Bargaining and Guilt: "What if" scenarios dominate thoughts during this stage. One might dwell on the past, searching for ways to undo the loss.
Depression and Sadness: The full weight of the loss settles in, often accompanied by profound sadness. While not clinical depression, this stage can be deeply challenging.
Acceptance: Acceptance doesn't mean you're suddenly "over" your loss or everything is fine. Instead, it's about gradually coming to terms with your new reality. You don't have to like this changed situation, but acknowledging it as your new normal is crucial.
How Long Does Grief Last?
Grief is a deeply personal journey with no fixed timeline. The stages and types of grief are nonlinear, varying greatly from person to person. There's no prescribed duration for grief nor a threshold that determines how one should feel about loss after a specific period.
Some individuals may experience acute grief, characterized by intense feelings of yearning, sadness, anger, or guilt. Others might encounter complicated grief, a more prolonged and significant level of mourning. The intensity of these emotions may lessen over time, depending on various factors unique to each person's situation.
While some may start to feel less burdened within weeks, others might find it takes months or years to process their loss. It's important to remember that grief doesn't simply disappear; it often becomes more manageable as time progresses. Ultimately, every loss is different, and how you navigate your grief is unique to you.
Lois Tonkin's theory suggests that grief remains constant, but our life expands around it. Initially, grief may manifest physically with exhaustion and brain fog. Over time, it often shifts to a more emotional experience. These feelings typically come in waves, varying in intensity daily. It's important to remember that calmer periods will follow, even when grief feels overwhelming.
Are you struggling with the overwhelming exhaustion of grief? Grief fatigue can be a challenging and isolating experience, but there's hope. Our compassionate team of experienced therapists is here to support you through this difficult time. We understand that everyone's grief journey is unique. That's why we offer personalized, evidence-based treatments tailored to your needs. Book your consultation today for grief or depression therapy.
