5 Ways to Cope with Empty Nest Depression

When kids move out for the first time, it’s normal to feel sad or lonely. However, for some parents, the emotions are more intense and long-lasting. This is known as empty nest depression. You’ve been a parent for so long that you’ve built your whole identity around it. Now that they have moved out, you struggle with your new role and purpose. Even though your kids are grown, you still worry about them. Are they eating enough? Making good choices? The uncertainty is what makes feelings of depression and anxiety worse. 

Here are a few tips on how to cope.

1. Find New Purpose Through Hobbies and Interests

Now is the time to explore new passions or rediscover old ones. Take a class on something you enjoy, like photography or a new language. Join others with similar interests, such as gardening or book clubs. Go for walks or jogs, join a gym, or try yoga. In addition to the mood-boosting endorphins, exercise provides an opportunity for social interaction and community. 

Traveling is another way to find fulfillment when your nest empties. Plan trips to visit your kids at college or take a vacation to a destination on your bucket list. Traveling exposes you to new experiences that can lift your mood and outlook. 

2. Stay Connected With Your Kids

While the physical distance can be hard, technology makes it easy to remain active in their lives. Set up a weekly phone call or video chat schedule to catch up. Hearing their voices and seeing their faces can help relieve sadness over them being gone. Ask them about school, work, friends, and hobbies to get the conversation flowing and maintain your bond.

Follow your kids on social platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. Comment on their posts, like their photos, and share your updates. Social media provides another way to engage with one another and stay up to date on each other’s lives from afar. 

3. Focus on Your Relationship

Now that the kids have left the nest, you can reconnect with your partner. Make date nights a priority again. Go out for dinner, watch a movie, try a new hobby together — do the things you enjoyed before having kids. Rekindling your romance and intimacy will help fill the void left by your children.

Take a trip just the two of you to bond and create new memories. Trying new experiences together releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which strengthens sensations of closeness and emotional intimacy. Don’t forget physical intimacy. Sex and physical affection release endorphins that improve your mood and ease feelings of loss or anxiety. 

4. Reflect on your Accomplishments

As a parent, you spent years caring for your children’s needs. Now is the time to look back with pride on the beautiful job you did raising them. Pull out old photos and share memories with your spouse or close friends. Recognizing the challenges you overcame and your sacrifices can help you feel better about this new phase of life.

Though you miss your kids, this time alone with your spouse and the freedom to do your own thing can be an opportunity to open a new, rewarding chapter of life. 

5. Focus on the Positives

As difficult as it is to say goodbye to your kids, their departure means more freedom and independence for you — no more scheduling your life around them. Savor the ability to be spontaneous again and do what you want when you want. Go for dinner, take a last-minute trip, or just lounge uninterrupted with a book. Independence is bittersweet, but learning to appreciate it will help you adapt to this new stage of life.

We understand the emotions you may be experiencing with an empty nest. Book an appointment with us for depression therapy if you need additional support adjusting to life after the kids move out.