Is Non-monogamy on the Rise?

Despite evolving attitudes towards sexuality in Western society, monogamy remains the predominant relationship model. While premarital sex and divorce have become more socially acceptable, those who challenge traditional monogamy often face stigma and potential consequences. This is particularly true for individuals engaged in secret infidelity, which can cause significant harm to relationships.

Contrary to popular belief, consensual non-monogamy is more common than many realize. Research suggests that approximately one in five individuals has experienced an open relationship at some point — a proportion equivalent to cat ownership. However, due to societal stigma, many people in non-monogamous relationships may not openly discuss their experiences.

Understanding the Spectrum

Non-monogamy exists on a spectrum, ranging from occasional consensual encounters to fully open relationships. This diversity highlights the complexity of human relationships and the need for open, honest communication between partners about their needs and boundaries. Non-monogamy has gained increasing prominence in recent years, particularly among younger generations. This umbrella term encompasses various relationship styles involving more than two people. Note that non-monogamous relationships can include or exclude sexual and romantic components and are practiced by individuals of all orientations.

Non-monogamy comes in various forms, each with its dynamics:

1. Hierarchical Non-Monogamy: This structure prioritizes the original relationship over other connections. Examples include:

• Prescriptive hierarchical polyamory

• Open relationships

• Monogamish arrangements

• Swinging

2. Non-Hierarchical Polyamory: In contrast, this dynamic doesn't prioritize any specific relationship.

Many practitioners prefer terms like Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) or Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) to differentiate their relationships from infidelity. These terms emphasize the importance of open communication, consent, and mutual respect among all parties involved.

Exploring Polyfidelity

One specific form of non-monogamy that has gained attention is polyfidelity. This arrangement involves an exclusive, loving relationship between more than two people. Unlike other forms of non-monogamy, polyfidelity emphasizes emotional and sexual fidelity within the group. Partners in a polyfidelitous relationship commit to each other, creating a closed network of intimacy and support.

Polyfidelity can take various forms, such as triads (three people) or quads (four people), and may include any combination of genders and sexual orientations. However, like any relationship model, polyfidelity requires open communication and ongoing negotiation to ensure all members feel valued and respected.

What Do Statistics Say?

Recent surveys reveal shifting attitudes towards non-monogamy in America. While a majority still prefer complete monogamy, there's a growing openness to alternative relationship structures.

A 2020 YouGov poll found that 55% of Americans favor complete monogamy, down from 61% in 2016. This shift suggests an increasing acceptance of non-traditional relationship models. Interestingly, 34% of respondents consistently expressed interest in non-monogamous arrangements across both surveys.

Experiences with Non-Monogamy

Many Americans have already ventured beyond monogamy, with or without their partner's consent:

• 12% have engaged in consensual non-monogamy

• 20% have had extramarital encounters without their partner's knowledge

• Men are more likely than women to report these experiences

Monogamy vs. Non-Traditional Relationships

According to A 2020 YouGov poll, Americans hold diverse views on partnership styles. Monogamy, defined as a commitment to sexual and emotional exclusivity between two partners, remains the most widely accepted form of relationship. A significant majority (83%) of Americans strongly or somewhat approve of monogamous partnerships, with only 11% expressing disapproval.

Shifting Attitudes Towards Non-Monogamy

While traditional monogamy maintains strong support, attitudes towards non-monogamous relationships are evolving. "Friends with benefits" arrangements, where friends engage in sexual activity without romantic commitment, receive a net positive approval rating (+10). Interestingly, younger men (under 45) show the highest approval (+38) for this dynamic, contrasting sharply with women over 45 (-6).

Generational Divide on Alternative Relationships

Other non-monogamous relationship styles face more skepticism. Open relationships (-26), throuples (-29), polyamory (-31), swinging (-35), and polygamy (-49) all receive net negative approval ratings. However, a notable generational gap exists, with 18 to 44-year-olds consistently showing more openness to these alternative relationship structures than those over 45. This trend suggests a potential shift in societal norms as younger generations come of age.

Are you curious about non-monogamy or seeking a better understanding of alternative relationship models? Our non-judgmental approach ensures a safe space to explore your feelings and options, whether you're considering non-monogamy or already practicing it. Book a consultation for couples therapy today.