How to Begin Healing From Relationship Trauma
It would be nice if relationships were like a fairytale. In movies, books, and TV shows, they are often described as many wonderful moments sprinkled with some conflict. But, ultimately, they result in a happy ever after.
There will be arguments, tension, and moments when you can't stand the sight of each other. In the end, though, both partners should feel safe, loved, and respected by the other person.
Unfortunately, there are some relationships where none of that happens.
How To Heal From Relationship Trauma
Relationship trauma can involve anything from emotional, physical, mental, or sexual abuse. Whatever its cause, it's a challenge to deal with the aftermath.
The healing journey after relationship trauma looks different for everyone, but here are some ideas to get you started.
1. Go to a Safe Environment
This is often the hardest part of healing from relationship trauma — stepping away from that which no longer serves you. It's scary and hard and can feel impossible, especially if children are involved.
However, you can't begin to heal if you are continually put into the same situations repeatedly. You need to and deserve to feel safe. Whatever that means for your specific situation won't be the same as another person. But, consider staying with family members, a friend, or anywhere you know you will find support.
In some cases, unfortunately, it may be appropriate to turn to authorities or resources for domestic abuse victims. Keep in mind that there are always resources out there for you.
2. Self-Care
In the aftermath of relationship trauma, it's not uncommon to feel as if you are just surviving, going through the daily motions of dealing with a rolling tide of emotions that come with taking the courageous action of putting yourself or your kids first.
Self-care may not involve self-pampering at this stage of your life, but you should ensure that you eat nutritious meals, exercise, and get a decent amount of sleep each night.
When you go back to the basics of self-care, you are giving your body and mind multiple ways to maintain themselves and foster a sense of healing and growth in the long run.
3. Talk to Your Loved Ones or Friends
No matter what happened in the past, it can be hard not to feel alone. It's not uncommon to isolate ourselves from our support systems when we feel no one will understand what we went through. There are often feelings of shame or guilt that are associated when we talk about relationship trauma.
However, as difficult as it can be, it's important to talk to someone about this. More often than not, the people in your life are there because they care about you. Don't hesitate to reach out to someone and just talk about the emotions of what you are going through or how a certain situation made you feel.
4. Be Open with Your Partner
Not all relationship trauma leads to the ending of the partnership. You are sometimes physically safe, but boundaries may have been crossed. You may have been betrayed, but you are still working things out with them.
Remember that we have no control over whether someone changes or not. Be realistic with them about your expectations, and they may just see the mistakes they have made and work to change them. If they do not, consider it is time to part ways.
5. Seek Professional Support
If you are in an unsafe situation, it's important to seek our resources to help you remove yourself and your family from that situation.
Maybe you are single or trying to pick up the pieces, or maybe you are trying to work things out. Regardless of the situation, therapy can help. Don't hesitate to reach out to us to learn more about trauma therapy or relationship counseling to begin your healing journey.
