How Common is Non-Monogamy?

You probably know a few folks in open relationships who practice ethical non-monogamy. But is that just in your social circle, or is non-monogamy way more widespread than most people think? The truth is, non-monogamy is way more common than you’d guess. New research shows that around one in five people has practiced some form of non-monogamy at one point in their life. That’s a lot! Let’s dive in deeper.

What Exactly is Non-Monogamy?

Non-monogamy refers to any relationship or sexual practice that involves more than two people. There are many forms of non-monogamy, including open relationships, polyamory, and swinging.

Open relationships

In open relationships, partners agree to have sexual relationships with other people. Emotional intimacy and commitment remain between the primary partners. Some open relationships allow casual hookups, while others involve longer-term connections with secondary partners.

Polyamory

Polyamory means “many loves” and refers to having multiple romantic relationships at the same time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamorous relationships emphasize emotional and intellectual connections with multiple partners.

Swinging

Swinging, or partner swapping, involves committed couples engaging in sexual activities with other couples. Swingers typically swap partners or engage in group sex at swingers’ parties or clubs. Emotional intimacy remains between the primary couple.

While non-monogamy used to be taboo, views on relationships and sexuality have diversified. As society moves away from traditional relationship standards, we can expect open relationships and polyamory to become more widely accepted and even common.

Research on the Prevalence of Non-Monogamy

How common are open relationships and non-traditional partnerships? Turns out more than you might expect. Several surveys show that a sizable minority of people practice some form of consensual non-monogamy. A 2016 study found that about 1 in 5 Americans had engaged in an open relationship.

Of course, reported rates vary based on how the questions are asked and the populations surveyed. Young people today seem particularly open to non-traditional relationships. Among Americans under 30, for example, a 2016 YouGov poll found that over 25% believed polyamory and open relationships can be healthy.

While non-monogamy is still far from mainstream, it’s clearly not as fringe as it once was. Many see it as a natural response to common relationship issues like boredom, desire for independence, and lack of sexual fulfillment. With the rise of dating apps and a culture that is increasingly open to sexual and gender fluidity, non-monogamy may become even more widely accepted and practiced over time. Of course, more research is still needed to fully understand how many people are in open relationships and why. 

Reasons for Choosing Non-Monogamy

Freedom and Autonomy

For some, non-monogamy offers a sense of freedom and personal autonomy that traditional relationships don’t. When you open your relationship, you can connect with multiple partners without deceit or jealousy. This allows you to explore your interests and desires openly and honestly with the support of your primary partner(s).

Meeting Different Needs

Non-monogamous relationships also allow you to get different needs met by different partners. Perhaps one partner fulfills your emotional needs while another satisfies your sexual desires. Or maybe one partner shares your interest in adventurous activities like rock climbing while another prefers quiet nights at home. Non-monogamy allows you to find the right person for each aspect of your life.

Spicing Up Your Sex Life

Opening up your relationship to new sexual partners and experiences can help rekindle excitement and passion, especially for long-term couples. Engaging in casual encounters or short-term relationships adds variety and novelty that helps combat bedroom boredom. Even just discussing the possibility of non-monogamy and sharing fantasies with your partner can increase intimacy and arousal.

Stronger Primary Relationship

Non-monogamy strengthens their primary relationship. When you remove the expectation of getting all your needs met by one person, it can take pressure off your partner and allow you both to appreciate what you have. Non-monogamy also enhances communication as you openly discuss boundaries, comfort levels, and how to handle jealousy or other challenges. This honest communication often translates to greater closeness and trust within the primary relationship.

Non-monogamy might not be as rare as you think. Even if it’s not something you’ve considered before, the rising interest shows that more people are exploring what works for them regarding relationships. If this is the path you are considering, we can help you through our couple’s therapy. Book a consultation today.